20 Lessons I learned in my 20s

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My vacation time has given me some time to reflect. On the places I’ve been, the people I’ve met, and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. Today I thought I’d share 20 lessons I learned in my 20s – in life, creativity, and business.

1. If something makes you happy, that's enough validation. If something doesn't spark joy, that's enough validation. That doesn't make whatever “it” is a good or bad thing. It just means “it” is or isn't for you.

2. It takes time to develop your voice, as a creator and person. Give yourself grace as you gain practice and life experience.

3. Cooking is a life skill. You will eat the majority of the meals in your life by yourself, and a good portion of the rest with people you know and love. Learn to treat yourself and your body to things you enjoy - healthy and otherwise.

4. Don't work out to punish yourself. Find ways to move your body that you enjoy and that challenge you for your lifelong mobility. You and the people in your life benefit when you have a healthy relationship with your body, no matter your size.

5. Don't try to persuade people who are insistent on misunderstanding you. That's unpaid labor.

6. Platonic and romantic relationships will come and go, and that's not an indictment of who you are as a person or an indication you did anything wrong. There will be friends you spend less time with than you'd like due to distance and work. It's just life. Cherish the time you have with the people you love.

7. The things you want don't just appear. Life is a journey of pursuing desires. The things you want may evolve and change, and they certainly may not come at the time you think they will. You just have to keep moving in the direction you would like to go, many times despite how you feel in the moment (because you won't always "feel" like it).

8. Being a kind person can open many doors. Not just nice when it suits you. Not just nice to people who are nice to you. Genuinely, kind.

9. Rest is not a reward for hard work. It is a part of hard work. Investing in yourself and your dreams is knowing when to step away and what things fill your cup.

10. Education comes in many different forms. A degree doesn't make someone smarter than someone else. What you do with the knowledge you have makes you the person you are.

11. Develop a healthy relationship with money. Whether we like it or not, money determines the options we have in this life. Believe that you are worth whatever you charge for your time, services, and expertise - because you are. Money does not have to come with unhealthy work environments.

12. What's for you will find its way to you. Who's for you will find their way to you. You're not too late and you're not missing anything. Be specific when writing down what and who you want in your life.

13. When I finally started therapy, I realized that I probably should've started therapy a lot sooner. Learn how to ask for help, in every sense. Learn how to ask your family, friends, and community for the things you want and need personally and professionally. The people who have good intentions with you will not be upset with you or offended by you for asking. Even when you don't know the right words to speak, they will understand.

14. Treat yo self. Don't wait for the “perfect” or “big” moment to celebrate your progress and life. Big accomplishments are just the summation of tiny, steady wins over time. Celebrate the small wins. 

15. You owe it to yourself to be honest about the distance between where you are and where you want to be. You owe it to your future self to believe without a shadow of a doubt that closing that distance is possible.

16. Titles are overrated. Director this. Executive that. Either you're living the life you want or you're not. Either you have the means to support yourself or you don't. People don't think about their "enough" number, and when they do, they often realize it isn't attached to a title at any one company or any business guru chirping on the internet saying some arbitrary number that signals their success. Find your "enough" number for your current and ideal lifestyles.

17. Stress is inevitable in life. But there are good kinds of stress and bad kinds of stress. Find healthy ways to cope with both and your decision-making skills will be immensely, positively impacted.

18. Develop a gratitude habit. Things won't always be sunny, but your view of getting through those dark times can be. Having a positive perspective is everything and builds confidence in your ability to achieve the happiness you want.

19. We don't get anywhere without community. Find your community, and contribute to your community whenever possible. I don't care how niche you think it is, they're out there and they're waiting for you, exactly as you are. (And I’m so glad to have you in this one!)

20. You're going to make mistakes, but you're not defined by those things. The road to success isn't as straight as people make it seem, and trust me, I know how pretty and perfect the stories and photos look on social media. We live in a beautiful time where we can connect with anyone, anywhere with a few clicks and an internet connection. But I'm willing to bet that if you ever truly talk to the people who make it seem all sunshine and rainbows, in person or virtually, they'll tell you what I'm about to say:

So keep going. I'm rooting for you.

Please Hustle Responsibly,

🤙🏾✨

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